There is a cult of ignorance in the United States, and there has always been. The strain of anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that 'my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge.' Isaac Asimov

Inimicus Dei Constituitur

So, in thinking about this, a few other things have occured to me.

Dreams have been infrequent messengers, but since I was a child, they have loomed large when they have been. To this day, dream work calls to me and it seems to be challenging pursuit. I have experienced at least three lucid dreams, two of which involved flying and only one of which involved the ingestion of psilocibin before hand. Blessed Be Hermes Oneiropompos.


I feel compelled to mention one dream that occurred when I was very young, perhaps 5 or 6, after my birthday party. It oddly presaged many things about my sexuality that I simply have always felt were horribly out of place for a child of that age. But perhaps that is just some left over prudishness that I need to shed still.

Dreams have shaped my life in many ways. Blessed Be Hermes Oneiropompos.

I have been of the "fake it until you make it" school for as long as I can remember. I started meditating as a tween with no absolutely no clue what I was doing. It took a while, but I think I have the hang of it now.

I knew that I was gay from a very young age, call it tween. I didn't really understand it. As puberty came along (I hit it pretty early), I did realize that I was not like my peer group and this bothered me. I attempted to change, via meditation and early attemps at self-hypnosis. That didn't work, wasn't going to work. And though I may wish, now, that I had not attempted to do those things to myself as it likely did some harm, I did learn some things along the way. And it did lead to an odd occurence that I failed to mention in part 1.

When I was in high school I achieved an out of body experience via the meditation/self hypnosis methods I had taught myself. It was short lived, alas; and some thirty years on, I have still not managed to replicate it.

I wonder if my sojourn down the rabbit hole of psychedlics, which began shortly thereafter, has hindered me in that regard? But I wouldn't change much of that journey anyway. I wish, however, that I had had a guide, as that might have made a difference.


Inimicus Dei Constituitur